Yesterday, I watched the movie Risen. It tells the story of a Roman tribune who was tasked with investigating the missing body of Jesus after the crucifixion. During his search, he eventually encounters the risen Christ himself.
One scene stayed with me.
When they were sitting quietly together, Jesus asked him a simple question:
“What do you seek?”
That question echoed in my heart.
What do I seek?
I began to realize that part of my restlessness may come from not knowing the answer to that question.
There are moments when I feel like something is missing, as if what I have is somehow not enough. Yet deep inside, I know that it’s not because I am ungrateful. I am very aware of how blessed I am.
I have a loving husband, healthy and growing children, a peaceful family life, and a home that is fully paid. Over the years, we have even had opportunities to travel and experience many beautiful places together.
But if that is the case, why do I still feel restless sometimes?
When I think back to my life ten years ago, things were very different. I was a full-time stay-at-home mom and depended completely on my husband’s income. We didn’t even have five figures in our bank account.
Yet strangely, I remember worrying less back then. I didn’t expect much. Even the idea of traveling felt like a luxury that might or might not happen.
Now, life is more stable. We have more security, more experiences, and more resources than before.
And yet, the restlessness still appears.
So when that question came to my mind again — “What do you seek?” — I realized that I don’t yet know the exact answer.
Maybe that is the deeper invitation.
To pause.
To examine my heart.
To reflect honestly.
What am I really seeking?
Is it security?
Is it purpose?
Is it recognition?
Is it peace?
Or perhaps something deeper that I cannot yet name?
For now, I don’t have a clear answer.
But maybe this question itself is a gift — an invitation to slow down and look deeper into my own soul.
And perhaps, in time, the answer will reveal itself.
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