2 days before

2 days before departure, things don't turn to the better but for the worse. It's such an irony right in the human eyes.
I and my husband have prayed as family yesterday to ask for God's mercy to heal his mom so that she's fit to travel today. But what happen today is the opposite.

This morning after I finished cooking for the kids, I spent my time to pray and I told God that He's the creator and my only hope and the only One I could trust and rely on.
After I said those words and haven't finished my prayer or reading today's passage, I received the call from my mom in law, she said that she couldn't come today because she's still not fit to travel.

I was saying to myself, there's no better way for Satan to try to push myself down hahaha....
it's not the kind of prayer answer that I expected though.
Then, since I'm still in the midst of prayer, I was able to compose myself and started reading today's passage. And it's the Holy Spirit who consoled and gave me an assurance to have faith in God no matter what.

Sirach 2:1-9

    1 My child, if you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for testing. 

2 Set your heart straight, be steadfast, and don't act hastily in a time of distress. 

3 Hold fast to God and don't keep your distance from him, so that you may find strength at your end. 

4 Accept whatever happens to you, and be patient when you suffer humiliation, 

5 because gold is tested with fire, and acceptable people are tested in the furnace of humiliation. 

6 Trust him, and he will help you; make your ways straight, and hope in him. 

7 You who fear the Lord, wait for his mercy, and don't turn aside or else you might fall. 

8You who fear the Lord, trust him, and you won't lose your reward. 

9 You who fear the Lord, hope for good things, for unending joy and mercy.

I can't help not to cry, I was in the middle of the battle field.

Is satan giving up ? No

After praying, suddenly I'm having vertigo. 

However, God's daily grace is sufficient enough for me.

Through His grace, I am able to stay calm

I give thanks to God for giving me this vertigo. Holy Spirit gives me strength, what I've experienced is nothing compare what Jesus has gone through during suffering.

I am grateful that I'm able to partake His suffering through this.

I told God, if this vertigo is what I need to take so that other may be healed, I will.

If I was asked if I have backup plan if my mom in law is not able to come, I honestly don't have.

I only can trust in God's plan. I have prepared myself for the worse to cancel the trip.

I know that I lose money, but I trust in God, He will provide back.

In this current situation, I only can rely and trust in Him no matter what happen.

In whatever happen, I am still grateful to Him even though it may not according to my plan.

This song reminds me that blessings and healing may come through raindrops and teas