For a long time, I have this belief in my head that when we follow Jesus, we need to be in suffering like Him.
It really scared me. Suffering in my definition is very painful and indescribable physical and mental agony.
Everyday I anticipated it if I or my family will suffer financially, our health or if we lose someone we loved dearly. For me, it's kinda suffering if we close to Jesus and it's contradict with some bible verse said about do not worry of tomorrow or our future and other verses said that He will protect us.
But slowly, I had this new understanding about suffering. It's all about our heart, self denial.
How we can firmly reject what the world offers and focus on the truth.
A simple example is pride or boast.
This new trend of posting everything we do in our daily life at social media is boosting our pride and blind us spiritually.
Real example, when we receive ash in ash wednesday, many people take their own selfie and posted it in social media so that everyone know that they have gone to church and started lent session.
And when they are fasting or doing something good, they will post it so that everyone can see how good they are.
God said that you have received your rewards.
On the contrary, what God requires is self denial - doing good deeds in a hidden place that only God knows. It takes a humble heart when we fight with ourselves, our heart will be stirred and shaken, it's truly suffering in Jesus Christ.
Another example is forgiving someone who have hurt us. It's the ultimate love that we fight with ourselves.
We have 101 ways to defence ourselves that we are right and he/she's wrong and we have a hundred percent right not to forgive them.
This is also suffering in Jesus Christ, when we fight within us and in the end we say that I forgive you, we have won and redeem back our and their souls.
In conclusion, suffering is not merely physical appearance but it's more deep down in our heart. How we fight within us and finally won the victory of the truth and true love.
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