This past week I felt lost and numb. I didn't feel any peace or joy in my heart, instead I hate myself.
All the negative thoughts were coming to my mind, jealousy, hopeless, you name it.
I know I have a trust issues based on my wild imagination.
I feel bad to my hubby, he's so nice, patience and kind to me. Instead of gratitude, I push him to the corner and have a suspicious thought that he's having affair.
In fact, I disgusted myself.
Not only that, I also felt lost in my works. It seems that I have no more control and have no idea what surprise will come tomorrow.
Today is the eve of all saints' day and I went to the church alone. I was in tear when we prayed litany of the saints.
Two things I learnt from the saints are detachment, embrace the journey and faithful to God.
I know that I couldn't run away from this process because this process is changing and moulding my heart to be humble, more loving and patience to the process and others.
One love character that I need to practice is Love gives freedom to other people to be who they are.
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