It's been 3 weeks after our helper returned home for good. My life is like a rat race 24/7. I do enjoy being active, doing household chores, cooking for the family and still be able to work and follow my personal vocation.
However, what I have been missing is prayer time and quiet time with God. I do attending weekday mass but my brain and heart are not there totally. I do it as a report time but my brain is thinking about what I should do next.
For these 3 weeks, it seems nothing major happened but I know something is not right starting to sprouting. I feel numb and indifference. My human nature starts to take over my thinking and decision. My compassion, humility and wisdom slowly subside and my ego, logic are rising.
This afternoon during cell group, suddenly I was prompted with this analogy.
Why I always clean the house which already being cleaned every day ? I want to maintain it clean and sparkling
What happens if I miss one or two days cleaning it, does it change overnight ? It's not. It's still clean and sparking
However what happens if I don't clean it regularly anymore, only do a quick cleaning just for the sake of cleaning ? The dust starts to build up slowly but sure until one day without realising it becomes thick and not easy to remove and that's when I will be lost where to start cleaning it and it may take longer time to clean it.
That's what happen with my house of soul right now.
I have been regularly cleaning it with prayer and words of God every morning when the helper is here.
However the past 3 weeks, I was drifted and distracted by all the activities and I forgot what is the most important thing in my life.
Thanks God, He called me back before I drifting further and further and this is the first time I can cry during the mass to feel His love back.
I ask God's grace and my guardian angel to remind me again when I am distracted with other things.
I remember this verse from the bible and hopefully it always reminds me.
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