28 June marks the Feast of God's mercy according to me.
I mark this day as my Passover and deliverence.
The story began when we, as community planned to have a durian catch up.
We had this idea to catch up with each other as it's been 3 months we never saw each other face to face. And since the rules have been eased, we thought this may a good time as long as we abide in the safe distance regulations.
We knew that gathering in the big group more than 5 people is not allowed, thus we planned to sit in different tables.
When we reached there, we started it right.
We have sit in our designated table and enjoyed the durian while catching up with one another within the table.
However, we got too excited and things got out of hand. Some of us started to mingle and move around.
I myself were not aware of it even though I sit still in my table and my thought was I am so happy to listen each other's story, how they are doing and survive during this 3 months.
Until, we decided to part away, my hubby told me what has gone wrong as he saw two middle aged aunty and uncle took a video or pictures of us.
I was shocked because I didn't even pay attention on that.
He tried to calm me down and consoled me by bringing me to stroll around in the playground after we reached home.
However, it didn't really help.
My first thought was the poor durian shop, if it's order to close, how's the staff going to eat.
Secondly, I didn't know what these uncle and aunty are going to do with the record. If they decide to blow the matter up, that's it. Many innocent party will bear the costs.
I was so troubled.
I knew we were wrong and I was ready to bear the consequences such as fine.
But it would be unfair, if it became viral in social media and public shaming and many innocent parties are affected.
At night during our couple prayer, I prayed with sincerity and humble heart so that God have mercy on us.
However, the condemnation thought is stronger than the peace.
The negative thoughts and unworthiness filled up my mind until it manifested in my body.
I felt so burden and pain in my neck and shoulder.
I couldn't sleep even though I was sleepy, in my tears I started to think positively by giving thanks to God.
I gave thanks that I was able to meet our friends.
I gave thanks that I was able to enjoy the durian
I gave thanks that I experience this as lesson learned.
I gave thanks for the aunty and uncle's presence and bless them
I gave thanks for the durian shop and bless them as well
I gave thanks for the day, I told God if God decides to have mercy and deliver us, I will remember this day as Merciful day and I will be merciful to those who have wronged me in the future.
However, if everything turns to the worse, I still gave thanks because I have the privilege to bear the cross like Christ, it's an act of humility and I will remember it as Humility day.
In whatever situation, I will give thanks because I believe that God will always make any situation become goodness for those who love Him.
Finally, I can sleep well however I had a bad dream about it, that the worse happened.
Around 3am, I woke up tired and restless and felt the yoke in my neck. It's so painful.
I tried to sleep again but the dark cloud was so powerful.
In the end, I was asleep and dreamt that I shared this burden with my community members.
Once, it's shared even though it's in the dream, I feel ease.
I woke up as usual.
During my morning prayer, I prayer this Psalm 123 and Psalm 56.
I feel peaceful after praying Psalm 56 and trust that God will protect and keep me under His Eagle wings from those who wanted to put us harm.
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