Three Things ....

This morning, I felt troubled. My mind is full with lots of things, pros and cons, I have no peace.
There are three things that disturbing me.

First, my own feeling to feel that I'm a useless woman, I'm not achieving anything.
Secondly, when I see one of my best friends start working and going to earn some money, I feel envy and my first thought haunts and judges me saying "see, almost all your friends work and earn money, how about you ? you just stay at home, praying and listening to FORMED and it won't give you any money."
Thirdly, it's about my husband, yesterday night he shared with me that his managing director announced the net profit of the company for the past 6 months and it's like breakeven only.
So there's no future in this company in human eyes, on the other hand, he's been offered by two companies with lower pay than now. He's in dilemma because in his heart, he still prefers to stay put with this company but on the other hand, if he's asked, what makes him staying, he has no good reasons either. And he asked me to pray also about it.

I kept thinking overnight, weighing pros and cons using my mind and my heart but I still have no answers.

Then this morning, on my regular praying, I start to tell God what I feel inside about this three things.

Then, He gives me His answers.

The first one, He said everyone is created for different purposes and missions. Like disciples, they are sent to different parts on this world. They acknowledged, accepted and went for it.
Some were created to be the gospel writers, some were the missionaries and evangelists, some formed the church, etc.
Similarly, every family has different purposes and missions including each individual in the family members and only God has full picture of each.
We can't judge or envy, because we don't know the whole picture but we could be grateful for what God has given to each of us.
I have this privilege to be a stay at home mom, a pillar of praying for the family and others. It may not earn any money, but it will lead the soul to God.
So, God gives me a clarity to my roles and purpose right now to be a prayer wife and woman to pray and fast for others.

The second one, God asked, who is God ? God is love. Things that God cannot do is cannot hate His own creations.
Imagine the sun, it always spread its rays to all people in the world, good or bad.
Same thing with God. If I want to be His donkey, I should do what God does.
Love and pray the blessing for others instead of feeling envy or want to justify their actions.
By praying for their souls, it brings them back to God. But if we ask justification for their actions, it will push them away from God and it's definitely not God's want.

Last but not least, for my husband case. He said that all choices are good, it not against the conscience. All of them are uncertain too.
What He wants us is to wait until the time will reveal itself and gives us more clarity.

In the end of the prayer session, I feel peace.

And when I message this person after my praying session that I've mentioned in my second case, she told me everything about her situation that she has no choice to come back to work.
She's been struggling to come with the term and if she has a choice, she prefers to be a stay at home mom.
Well, it really enlightens me and isn't it wonderful how God answers our prayer  ?
In the end, I wish her well, I pray for her and her family.